Sex Tips For Zombies

Three new developments you should not miss
July 24, 2008, 8:19 pm
Filed under: zombie sightings | Tags:

Dear readers:

Your favorite sex blogger must apologize deeply for having neglected you for so long – but I did so for an astoundingly good and blog-relevant reason! Yes, you have guessed it: I found true zombie love mid-May, and have understandably been a bit distracted from my duties to you.

I sincerely hope you will forgive me, but I think this experience will really allow me to address every sex and love issue my dear zombie friends may have.

Yes, before you ask, Darwin and I have already exchanged hearts. I can feel his in me now, nestled between my lungs – a most meaningful declaration of love. I never truly understood how intimate such an exchange could be – after all, I am fairly cavalier about loaning hands and eyes, and even loaned out my leg once to a dear friend. But to think that this is permanent, and totally unnecessary – dear readers, it still makes swoon, even now.

But enough about me. I promise to begin addressing pertinent issues again soon, but before I do so, I really must call your attention to two new developments in zombie art and culture that you cannot pass up. The first is that zombiedom has finally entered the world of Web2.0 with the fabulous dating site, ZombieHarmony . (No, I didn’t meet Darwin there…but we did later find out that we both had profiles–and were rated as highly compatible!)

The next is a contribution to zombie culture from ANJ: a Russian band who truly knows what it means to be zombie. The music video describes a truly moving tale of the difficulties of remaining true to yourself in a hostile world. It may be a bit depressing, but I think it offers a unique commentary on the nature of zombiedom. You won’t be disappointed.

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And finally, who hasn’t heard of the internationally famous movie, Zombie Strippers? If you haven’t caught it on the big screen, folks, you really need to rent the DVD as soon as it comes out. And we all hope it comes out soon.