Sex Tips For Zombies


Bondage Safety Tips
October 13, 2008, 9:35 pm
Filed under: Dear STFZ, safer sex

Dear Sex Tips for Zombies,

After reading that article on Cosmo recently about spicing up our sex life with a little bondage in bed, my girlfriend and I decided to try it out.  She tied me up, and we start making out.  We’re grinding along, hearing that lovely wet sound that our hearts make when they rub against each other, when all of a suddent she sits up in shock.  In our enthusiasm, we pulled my arm off!  I managed to put it back with a little sewing but please tell us how we can enjoy bondage without risking dismemberment?

Thankfully yours,

Totally Armless Fun.

TAF, I have two words for you: Saran Wrap.  With a little plastic bondage, we can make sure your body parts stay intact and connected, while still giving you all the fun of bondage.  Let the plastic wrap help support the strain of your sexual escapades.  Just wrap your limbs up, paying special attention to your joints and other easily detachable areas.  Since the hip area can also be a problem, you can make sure to wrap all around your groin, and then cut out the appropriate holes in the saran wrap to allow all the genital contact you desire.  Saran wrap is also particularly useful for keeping innards in place during strenuous activity (assuming part of the fun isn’t those innards getting out, of course).  Hope that helps!

Advertisements

Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: