Sex Tips For Zombies

Zombie Stripping
March 23, 2009, 10:21 pm
Filed under: activism

In my little corner of the blogosphere, sexual exploitation of newly-made zombies is big news. These new zombies often find themselves dazed and confused, suddenly friendless in a strange new world with strange new rules. Furthermore, they are often just starting to get used to their new bodies, and lack the dexterity to defend themselves should the need arise. While most of us had fairly good experiences, there are a few zombies who get whisked away into the underworld, never to return.

Now, I’m an openly sex-positive zombie, and I speak up in favor of all sorts of “deviant” desires and such.  My general feeling is that as long as everyone’s having fun and no one permanently loses an eye, it’s your business, not mine. But there’s a new practice that I’ve heard about which simply turns my stomach. It’s called Zombie Stripping. The idea is that one of these poor zombies is herded onto a stage, and forced to remove skin, organs, appendages, and bones, until the zombie is completely scattered. Apparently this is a serious turn-on for some zombies.

I’m not sure whether zombies understand the seriousness of the situation.  I’m sure many of the people who pay to enter these illegal clubs don’t really bother to think about it.  Let me explain it to you: these zombies remove all their organs and appendages and tossing them to the audience, until they are completely helpless.  Imagine this: your eyes have rolled to one corner, but your hands are wandering around somewhere else, somewhere you can’t see.  Your feet are also in some unknown location, and you have no idea where the rest of your organs are.  Someone’s fondling your penis somewhere and you have no idea who, or if your penis is even in the same room as the rest of you.  And this will go on until some kind soul re-combines you, and even so, you are almost certainly not going to ever recover all your organs or appendages.

Now imagine that all this is happening to you, every night, because you don’t know what else to do, and because you can’t figure out how to leave the situation.  The owner of the club threatens to step on your eye if you even think about leaving.

I’m told that not all Zombie Strippers are exploited workers.  I’m told that some of them chose to do this, because they have a fetish for feeling helpless and exposed.  But I think reputable establishments for Zombie Stripping are probably extremely rare, if they exist at all.  The fact is, Stripped Zombies are in such an extreme state of helplessness that it seems almost impossible to imagine that they wouldn’t be taken advantage of.  I can imagine many ways in which zombie stripping can be done both lucratively and ethically – for instance, having a designated chaperone, or  allowing them to toss their body parts all in the same area instead of into the careless audience’s hands, such that they can manage to recombine themselves later.  Or even going only part-way, stripping out certain appendages or organs but remaining upright and in control.  None of these obvious solutions have been implemented in any of these clubs.  It’s always a mob scene, and it always goes until the poor zombie is a scattered heap.

Before you rush off to send me an angry email, let me clarify a couple of points.  First, I don’t have any problem at all with people who play with stripping in a safe setting, with trusted friends and partners.  That is not at all what I am talking about.  And secondly, my problem is not really with the fact that zombie stripping exists as a business – my problem is that this is a business conducted with dubious ethics with what seems like no intention of reform.  If you have visited one of these clubs, or still do, please spend just a few minutes thinking of what the experience must be like for these zombies.  Ask yourself the hard questions – do they look scared?  Abused?  Do you think the environment is one that is safe for them?  If you don’t like the answers, I think you should think twice before attending a zombie strip again.


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