Sex Tips For Zombies


Porn Reviews: “Porn of the Dead” and “Night of the Groping Dead”
April 4, 2009, 8:56 pm
Filed under: activism, reviews

Last night, a friend and I watched about 50 minutes of zombie porn, so you don’t need to.  Or rather, so we can tell you whether you actually want to.  We reviewed Porn of the Dead and Night of the Living Dead on the VOD service offered by sextoy.com.

Porn of the Dead is a porn in 5 or 6 different parts, separated by simple fades.  It began very promisingly, with a wonderfully creepy atmosphere of horror.  In fact, in each segment, the set and atmosphere was extremely well-done.  You almost feel as if you’ve stepped into some sort of horror movie.  The porn also makes good use of slow-motion and stop-motion, as well as odd camera angles, in order to add a sense of the surreal. This porn was clearly directed by someone with experience with cinematography and a strong idea of what would be artistically interesting.  I particularly enjoyed the conceit in the zombie gangbang, which began with a porn shoot the middle of a misty dark wood under the light of the full moon.

The zombies are well-done and clearly some thought went into portraying the true diversity of zombies everywhere – there are zombies with open sores, as well as both grey-colored zombies and green-colored zombies.  What a nice change from the typical portrayal of only one kind of zombie!  The blood and gore are also extremely realistic.  They clearly put a lot of thought into the realism of the set, and I found it very impressive.

Unfortunately, it quickly becomes clear that this is a porn for human fetishists of zombies, rather than a porn for us.  I suspect that for many of these “zombies”, human actors and actresses were used!  In the first ten minutes I noticed zombie makeup coming off, quite obviously.   “Zombieface,” my companion remarked grumpily.  Indeed, I also found this incredibly offensive and not at all sexy.  While vitaphiliacs might rejoice at the idea of zombie fetishists, most of us prefer to be treated as sentient thinking beings instead of depicted as objects of human fascination.  After that, it became very clear exactly how human-centric this film was.  There is quite a lot of hardcore PiV action and the focus remains on the penetrative sex, rather than much zombie action.  There was some, including a glorious heart-eating scene – but those seemed to be there to add “flavor” rather than as the main focus of the sex.  One exception to this is the last segment, which featured a very erotic climax with human intestines.  Make sure not to miss that part, when you’re skipping through the seemingly-interminable minutes of human-on-fake-zombie-fucking.

Night of the Groping Dead is the polar opposite in a lot of ways.  It was rather invigorating, watching the two back-to-back.  While Porn of the Dead seemed to be shot from a very human-centric view, Night of the Groping Dead is definitely a zombie porn: by zombies, for zombies.  We begin with a great horde scene which made me a bit nostalgic for my old gang days, roaming about, attacking screaming humans.  Now, these are true zombies – lurching, groaning, with that wild-eyed gaze.  There’s even a compelling plot, involving an exploration of some common conflicts in zombie identity: world domination vs. suburban bliss, an army of zombie fucking vs. one true love.

There are plenty of zombie blood shots here for anyone, and the virgin zombie scene is heart-meltingly sweet.  My companion was also particularly impressed by the pussy-eating – and it’s true that for some reason that is not as often shown as dick-eating.  I found the intro scene (which gets repeated at several points for plot reasons) extremely arousing, and the virgin zombie scene is also really good.  My only disappointment here is that the set is so low-budget (it looked like someone’s apartment) – I really wanted to take the set of Porn of the Dead and slide it into the Night of the Groping Dead.  Definitely this is a movie to watch if you like some thoughtful plot and characterization in your porn, not just hardcore zombie action.

In summary?  I would watch Porn of the Dead for a few good scenes and its great set and cinematography, but I think Night of the Groping Dead is a far better zombie porn for all it’s low-budget heritage.  It was 47 minutes long, and compelled us to watch almost 30 minutes of it – a far better record than Porn of the Dead, which was 1 hr 40 minutes long, of which we watched about 20 minutes.  I will always have a fondness for the Re-Penetrator, but I am definitely excited at the explosion of new films in this genre!

Again, if you find any new zombie porn I haven’t yet discovered here, please let me know!

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11 Comments so far
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Love this blog I’ll be back when I have more time.

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Comment by SIBriano

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